| Main Murphy's Laws |
- If anything can go wrong, it will.
- If it is possible for several things to go wrong, the one that will go wrong first will be the one that will do the most damage. (Also known as the .jelly side. rule: Bread always falls with the jelly side down, especially when over a valuable carpet.)
- If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
- Nothing is as easy as it looks.
- Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
- Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
- When things just can't get any worse, they will.
- Everything takes longer than you think or expect.
- When things are going well, something will go wrong.
- In any field of scientific endeavor,
anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
- If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one
that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
- If you see that there are four possible ways in which things can go wrong and circumvent them, then a fifth way will probably develop.
- If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Enough research will tend to support your theory.
- Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.
- If you play with something long enough, you will break it.
- If you perceive that there are four possible ways in
which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these,
then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
- Doing it the hard way is always easier in the long run.
- Research will always tend to support your theory, if you do enough of it.
- If success is at first not achieved, every effort will be made to hide the fact that it was even attempted.
- People who smile when things are going wrong have already thought of who will get the blame.
- Your superiors will always think they are better than you, despite the law of averages.
- The truth shall get you fired.
- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
- Things get worse under pressure.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
- When things go wrong somewhere, they are apt to go wrong everywhere.
- Impossibility and even if it cannot, it might.
- If you cannot convince people, confuse them.
- If everything is coming your way, watch out.
- If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk a lot less.
- Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when everything goes wrong.
- The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.
- In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired, or at least avoided at all costs.
- Inside every large problem is many other small problems struggling to get out.
- If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then that is the one that will be chosen.
- All work expands to fill the time allowed.
- There is never enough time or money.
- The greastest thing about teamwork and study committees is that they can disperse the blame.
- Whatever happens, look as though you intended it to happen.
- No two identicial parts are ever truly identical.
- There is no limit to how bad things can get.
- A k knife too dull to cut anything else will always cut your finger like a razor.
- After your hands have become extremely dirty, your nose will itch.
- If you assume something has been done, it probably has not.
- Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.
- In case of doubt, say it loud and convincingly.
- The length of a minute depends on what your are waiting for.
- Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
- Mother nature is a bitch.
- It is impossible to make anything foolproof
because fools are so ingenious.
- A new device will work perfectly, over and over again, as long as no one important is
watching. As soon as a demo for a high-level manager begins, the device will exhibit the
worst possible failure mode. If a company founder is present, it will explode
- If a great deal of time has been spent seeking an answer to an apparently unsolvable
problem, the solution will be obvious to the first unqualified person who looks at it.
- When a man says to you "It's not the not the money, it's the principle of the thing," it's always the money.
- The number of people who happen to be watching you will always directly proportional to the stupidity of the thing you are doing.
- Things always get worse before they get better.
- Bad weather reports are right more often than sunny ones.
- If it jams--force it. Then, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
- The first place to look for something is the last place you expect to find it.
- The driver's side windshield wiper always streaks and wears out first.
- In human affairs it is impossible to make anything fool-proof, so don't waste a lot of time trying.
- As soon as you switch lanes, your old lane speeds up.
- The worse the haircut, the slower it grows out.
- Mother nature is arbitrary and capricious.
- Everything always cost more and takes longer than expected.
- If there are several possible queues you can choose from, you will always pick the slowest.
- Phone messages: If you have a pen, there's no paper. If you have paper, there's no pen. If you have both, it will be a wrong number.
- The slowest drivers all know the fastest shortcuts.
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn't work, it will always work perfectly.
- The one emergency for which you are fully prepared will never happen.
- When taking something apart to fix a minor malfunction, you will cause a much greater malfunction upon reassembly.
- All great discoveries are made by mistake.
- If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's impossible.
- No matter how early you get there, someone else is always there first, or else you've got the times screwed up, or it's the wrong day.
- The effort of trying to save a falling object by catching it will always cause more destruction than if the object had just been allowed to fall unobstructed in the first place.
- The most expensive and hard to replace component is always the one that breaks first.
- No one can ever leave anything well enough alone.
- If you don't really have to do it, and if doing it or not doesn't matter at all, it will go perfectly every time.
- As soon as you mention something ... if it's good, it goes away ... if it's bad, it comes upon you immediately.
- When the world solves one problem, the solution will usually create another problem, far worse than the first one.
- Progress is the endless exchange of one problem for another.
- Being punctual only means your mistake will be made on time.
- Whatever plan you make, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere that will derail it.
- A surprise monetary windfall will be accompanied by an unexpected expense of the same or a greater amount.
- Whenever you need to do something, there is something you must do first
(and something before that...).
- In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct contain errors.
Decimal points are usually misplaced. If an error an creep into any calculation, it will (and it will be in the direction that causes the most damage)
- If you are caught in traffic, you will be stuck in the slowest lane. If you switch to a lane moving faster, it will immediately stop and the lane you left will speed up.
- Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.
- You never find a lost article until you replace it.
- When things go wrong, they go wrong all at once, and at the worst possible moment.
- If everything seems to be going along well, you have definitely overlooked something.
- Whenever you start to do something, you quickly realize that something else must be done first.
- The likelihood of success is inversely proportional to how important the project is.
- Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
- Things will get worse before they will get better -- and who said things would get better?.
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